We have all been there – you’re meeting a new client for the first time; you’ve done enough homework on your potential new client to have a high level of confidence and you know your product/service which you are offering like the back of your hand and yet, for some reason, the meeting just doesn’t go as planned. You leave the meeting frustrated, confused, and (sometimes) down on yourself. The feeling of failure is real – but as a pro, you shake it off and move on.
Throughout the meeting, there were incongruencies that you might not even have been aware of. There were markers on the path that were pointing you to a better meeting, to a better flow, and to a better outcome – but you just didn’t see them.
I have done this more times then I’d like to confess. I’d like to offer some insights that I have learned from masters of sales, through trial and error and sometimes by getting smacked square in the nose! These points will not always be 100% accurate nor will they fit every situation. These points will not make up for people who just simply won’t buy, are angry at the world, or just plain nasty people. My hope is that these points will sharpen your skills, add new tools to your toolbox, and give you higher success rates for all of your future interactions!
Meet and Greet
This is the first impression! It has been said that people make lasting decisions about people they meet in the first seconds of meeting them – talk about pressure! So, what can you do to better help the first impression?
Here are some very important pointers:
1. Personal Hygiene. We are all made differently BUT we can all practice good hygiene. From gunk in your eyes to lunch in your teeth. From body odor to a well-kept hair-do. Clean kept clothes and a well-organized personal presentation are all part of your personal hygiene. You should always be monitoring how you look, feel, and smell; especially before meeting someone for the first time. Do not become vain: look good, feel good - this is a solid mantra.
2. Eye contact with a firm handshake and the best, most genuine smile you can produce will win you more business than any other single thing which you can control. If you’re not being introduced by someone else it is your job to introduce yourself. You must own who you are, you must own your confidence and you must own the moment. No one else in the room cares if you’re successful. No one else in the room cares if you win. No one else in the room cares about you more than you – so own you!
3. Listen to their name, repeat it back to them when they tell you, and do not forget it. Remembering a name is tough and, in another article, I will write about that, but for now, you can search the web for tips – but what you must understand is you cannot forget their name. You also must repeat their name back to them throughout the conversation. There isn’t much more in life that people subconsciously like than hearing their own name repeated back to them.
Maintain eye contact but not too much!
From the meet and greet until your sale is closed you will always be interacting with your potential client. You will always be building trust or giving them suspicions about why they shouldn’t trust you. It is said that the eyes are the windows to the soul. Some people are intimidated by eye contact and will always look away. Some people will stare at you until you feel like you’re reading each other’s journals. In either situation it is absolutely vital that you take the middle road. Engage people with your eyes when they are talking – let them know you are listening by your eye contact. However, offer breaks from eye contact. Glance out the window or around the room. Do not be the person who stares someone into uncomfortableness. Do not create an awkward moment. Allow time to breathe, relax, and enjoy the surroundings. Always preface distractions with an ask for permission, for example: if you must acknowledge a text or your phone is going crazy simply ask if they mind you seeing what is going on – if there is hesitation on their end do not ignore this hesitation and, unless it is a true emergency, silence your device and stay in focus. Be careful - most people will say "yes, please look at your phone" but you must be the professional and know they are really saying "are you kidding me? I am right in front of you - pay attention to me!" This can be tricky - each situation will be unique.
Commonalities
The quicker you can find common ground to stand on the better you will be. It is crucial that this is not superficial – most people can smell cow dung from miles away; fake interest in something just to establish common ground for communication smells 10x worse than fresh cow dung. This can be difficult sometimes if there is a generation gap, a large culture gap, or some other mechanism that separates you and your potential client in a big way. Let me offer some thoughts on common ground.
1. If you’re meeting on their turf look around, be observant from the moment you pull into their location. Look at all the details – find something, anything, that they have that you love. Find something you are passionate about (if no passion can be found at least find something you have personal experience with or in) and make a comment on or about it. If the person opens the door for further discussion on it you have just established common ground!
2. If you’re meeting in a neutral location pay attention to their clothes, jewelry, shoes – these items are expressions of a person’s personhood – who people are typically come out in their persona. You must be able to decipher some clues of what they like and who they are by these things. With this knowledge take a stab at something you might think you both have in common - be careful! If they do not engage in further thoughts on the topic you have not established common ground. Have some more conversation and try again on a different topic!
3. The hardest part is starting a casual conversation without seeming lame. Everyone has dealt with sales professionals. Everyone has had lame people make lame remarks and try and sell them lame products – don’t be lame. Sometimes the best answer is to just ask open-ended questions. The key is to listen and adapt. Listen for clues, find the common ground, and build the trust of familiarity.
4. Word of caution – not all people want this and you must be able to recognize this. Some people want to get down to business and will find you intrusive by trying to find common ground. The best thing to do is put a hard pause on this, get them seeing the value of your service/product and once they relax then take another swing at it – never give up on finding common ground – after all everyone is just human and everyone shares the common human struggle: there is always common ground.
Open-ended questions
The worst thing you can do is ask the opposite: closed-ended questions. If you do not know the difference this is not the time to explain the differences - do some research and get familiar. If you truly believe in your product/service and feel passionate that the person in front of you needs it then you need to ask them open-ended questions. What an open-ended question will do is give your potential client the opportunity to tell you how to go to the next step of the process. Each step will have its own obstacles to cross and objections to overcome but if you ask enough open-ended questions and you get good at listening, the client will tell you everything you need to know on how to make the sale. When you are not good at this, you give control of the process to the client, and when you do that they direct the next steps and your success ratio falls drastically.
Mirroring
This is HUGE! When you look in the mirror and move an arm up you see your reflection do the same. When you smile in the mirror your reflection smiles back. Likewise, when you frown the reflection frowns back at you. Mirroring should happen at the onset of the meet and greet. The sooner you can begin this process the sooner you will begin to "be like them" in their mind. For example: If they cross their arms and stare out the window you do the same. If they smile at the waitress for the water refill you do the same. If your potential client leans back in the chair and looks intensively at you, the next logical chance you get (your turn to start/stop talking) you do the same thing. If your potential client leans in to tell you something or listen to what you have to say then you lean in ever so slightly.
This is a huge phycological step. People want to do business with people that are like them and people they trust. Inherently they will trust someone who is more like them than someone who is not.
There is a limitation to this. If someone has an odd, loud laugh and you do not, you do not want to mirror their laugh – you will look and sound like an idiot. If someone is rude to a waitress and you are not a rude person then you do not want to mirror this – you will be out of your natural element and have many regrets later. If someone swears a lot and you do not then do not become a sailor just to mirror. Ultimately it is your decision and each situation will demand a different level, my rule has always been: I will not change my core to win someone over but flexibility in personality is a must! Think of a chameleon. This animal doesn’t change its stance, walk, what it eats, how it moves its eyes or anything else that is core BUT it has no issue blending into its surroundings for preservation's sake. All I am suggesting is to be like the chameleon – blend for success but do not change your core lest you gain the whole world only to lose your soul . . . for what gain is that?
Part II coming soon!
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